Yes, you read it right. Girls are burden and will always. Before you start judging me, let you read this article fully. I have solid reason to prove my point. I am 24 year old girl belongs to a middle class family. I have 2 elder sisters and one younger brother. I am the most pampered and lovable kid of my family from childhood. Yes my family loves me more than my brother. There is nothing like gender inequality in my family. (I am truly blessed.)
In spite of this when I say Girls are burden it’s because of the rituals our society & system has set for the girl child and we the people who are following them blindly. Let we see the journey of a girl from the other side of the coin.
When a girl is born, the very first thing you will see the sadness in the eyes of everyone especially in the grand parents of the girl. Relatives will console to her parents wishing she were a boy. Time flies, she will be sent to school and college for education. If she wanted to get education which demand more fees , again someone will come up with this “ why to spend so much money on education save it for her wedding “ ( itna paisa padhai pe kyu kharch kerna , iski shadi ke liye bachaiye )
While studying “study is secondary, learn cooking, stitching and other household work. It will be useful to her “(padhai wadhai chodo, ghar ka kaam seekho kaam aayega).If she is very good in her studies “what is the meaning of all these when ultimately she has to go someone else’s house and cook food” (in sabka kya matlab hai, sasural jake banana to ise khana hi hai)
*Note: these dialogues never come from her parents *
Now the very important part of her life for which she actually comes to this world is tag as a burden ‘Her marriage ’.The family starts to find a suitable boy .the rishta meeting will be organized. the girl and her family will be judged on various parameters her height , cooking skills , complexion , how much the girls family can spend on the wedding , how much they earned etc. some will ask questions and inspect everything about girl as they are going to give the key of their valuable treasure . if there is a little bit delay in her engagement and as well marriage she is questioned.
If the rishta fixed the lines by groom’s family “ your girl is ours now” some will say to girl’s parents that now you are free as your daughter is someone else’s responsibility now. Which is not true. A daughter is always responsibility of her parents even after marriage.
The wedding function is started. The engagement ceremony: it’s not only about ring, trust me. Bride’s family has to send clothes to the entire family of groom. It’s a ritual. In between engagement and wedding and after wedding too if any occasion comes like Diwali, holi again send some sweets and cloths stuffs to the groom’s family.it is also a ritual.
At wedding there are too many traditions and rituals. The bride’s family will spend more than their financial status thinking it is for their daughter’s better future and for social reputation too.The very strange rasam I have ever came across is whenever any lady from girl’s family goes to boy’s house she has to touch feets of every other lady of boy’s side and has to give some kind of shagun to them. (Pagalagayi)
The tradition that daughter’s first delivery should be in her Mayka. The girl’s family will went to her sasural to taker her with home. Again give the cloths and sweet stuffs and take the girl to your home. After 2 to 3 months, the new mother and baby will go to their home. Send again some cloths and sweet stuff with them for the entire sasural family of new mother.
If someone died in the girl’s house. go with cloths to her sasural. Whenever your daughter and your son in law come to your house give them shagun. If you ever go to meet your daughter at her sasural or go to attend some function at her sasural u cannot go empty hands. The Mayra rasam where the girls family have to spend very good amount of money on their grandchildren’s wedding.
The girl’s parents can never take a step back from their responsibilities till they are alive and after them it is transferred to the brother of the girl.so basically on the basis of the rituals which are ultimately set by us, followed by us the girl seems to be a burden on their family.
I don’t know if all the rituals set by us and the society are right or not. If they are wrong than how to change it and will it be changed ever or not, I just don’t know. But the change is required that I am assured.
Note: I am not pointing at anyone. Not at society, not at particular section of the society and not at the people who are following all these. I have seen these things in my surroundings and felt that it is the fault in our system.